


Out of Focus

by Loneylovelyandlethal



Category: Free!
Genre: Eventual Fluff, Haru and Mako being idiots at College, M/M, check that one out for all your smutty needs, not an AU anymore ayyyy, nothing explicit but idk how to rating, technically this came first but it somehow ended up as a smaller companion piece to Breaking Even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2014-09-27
Packaged: 2018-02-18 23:59:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2366747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loneylovelyandlethal/pseuds/Loneylovelyandlethal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Makoto gets all the booty thrown at him in college and is too dumb to realize which one he actually wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dating is hard.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Breaking Even](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2374346) by [Loneylovelyandlethal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loneylovelyandlethal/pseuds/Loneylovelyandlethal). 



> It came to me in a dream last night, so I had to let it out. 
> 
> I am probably not a good writer and this is digustingly unbeta'd. Also, it's my first time writing any fanfic for anything ever. This is what these dorks have done to me. Somebody send help. 
> 
> Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine, I just borrowed them to play a little.

_„I'm sorry, really, but I'm not interested. I'm sorry!"_

Why him.

Not even three months into the first semester at college and that had been the fifth. _Fifth_ girl to ask him out for coffe. Or _something else_. Not even counting the times he got hit on at the very few parties his classmates had managed to drag him to.

"You're really cute and nice but I just, um. Sorry, I have to go, my friend is waiting, bye!“ He was never more grateful to see Haru waiting for him at the usual spot just outside campus.

When he came jogging over he could basically hear Haru's thoughts screaming at him. _Another one? Why did you say no this time?_

„Don't.“ Is all he says, as he gives Haru a look somewhere between embarrassment and exasperation.

They walk towards their subway station in silence. They had never needed many words to communicate with each other, relying on glances and gestures and years and years of friendship and trust.  
It had become their habit. Twice a week, when Haru's training finished early, he would take the sub and pick Makoto up for dinner after his lectures of the day finished, and Makoto found himself looking forward to seeing Haru more than the actual end of class on those days.  
At first, they had gone and tried out all the different locations people recommended to them, but if students were anything, it was perpetually short on money, so now they mostly go to Haru's place where he cooks.

Amazingly enough, most times there was something other than Mackerel on the table.

Haru's main focus was swimming now, aiming to compete internationally, something that Makoto would have laughed at if you had told him a year ago, but Haru had made up his mind, and he was more dedicated than ever. The university that had ended up scouting him required him to pick an actual subject to major in aswell, because you couldn't be a professional swimmer forever, and it was good to have something to fall back on. So, Haru had taken up nutritional science, focusing on the dietary side of sports medicine mostly, but besides all the lectures about proteins and carbs and other things Makoto didn't have much of a clue of, they had also put cooking lessons on his curriculum, and it paid off, or so Makoto thought.

He watched Haru chop vegetables and wrangle several pans at once in his tiny kitchen, all with a content smile on his face he probably didn't even realize he was doing, and it made Makoto's heart do that funny twist and jump insde his chest he couldn't quite place. He had truly never seen Haru happier than during the last few months, and if anything, it made him even more radiant than he already was. His smiles came easier, he carried himself straighter, and his eyes shone brighter, with his sights firmly set on the future.

They ate dinner chatting about Makoto's teachers, Haru's times, and their homework (that they both agreed on had no business being that time consuming). After that, the same comfortable silence descended on them that they had shared since they were little. Makoto was deep in thought about his homework when Haru startled him.

„Why do you always say no?“

„Huh? What do you mean, Haru?“ (He knew what Haru meant)

„You never go out with any of them. Why?“

Okay, this was not a discussion he was particularly eager to have.

To be honest, he didn't really know himself why he did it. He just didn't feel the desire to date anyone? He didn't feel that spark of excitement people kept talking about? There was no emotional connection with any of them? Yes, some of the girls that had approached him were pretty, he would have been a fool to deny that much, and some of them had even made it clear that _emotional_ was not the kind of connecting they were interested in. Just some fun, they'd say, and really, wasn't he supposed to be all for that, raging teenage hormones and all? But none of them had interested him in that way.

Maybe he was asexual? Or aromantic? Or any of the other fancy phrases people used these days that he was still trying to decipher?

„You're thinking too hard again.“ Haru said gruffly. He was still waiting for an answer.

„I don't know, Haru.“ He smiled his 'it's okay, don't worry, I am fine' smile, but it must have been a little off because all he got in return was _the look_.

„Maybe you should just give one of them a chance? See what happens?“

_See what happens???_

Okay, what sort of parallel universe had he just entered. Why would Haruka, of all people, suddenly be so pushy about the subject?

„Why do you want me to go on dates so bad? It's not like you've been going on any!“

Or has he?

The thought made something sting in his gut and his shoulders stiffen uncomfortably. They weren't spending every day together after all. What if Haru had gotten himself a girlfriend and had decided not to tell him? There definitely were enough who would gladly fill the position, Makoto was sure. People were drawn to those beautiful blue eyes of his like moths to flame.

Haru turned his head sideways, looking at everything and nothing at once.

„Not really...“

_**Not really?!**_

What was that supposed to mean. A red hot flare of _something_ went through his belly, but he forced himself to ignore whatever it was. Haru didn't seem like he wanted to talk about it, and Makoto wouldn't start pushing him, so he let it go.

They parted with things back to normal, but while the subway took him home, Makoto kept thinking about what Haru had said.  
 _See what happens.  
Not really._

Well maybe he would. If Haru could apparently go on dates without telling him, he could surely do the same, right?

................................................................................................................................................................................................

A few weeks later, his weird evening conversation with Haru almost forgotten, Makoto was facing another girl who had gathered the nerve to ask him out. She was pretty at least, pale red hair and paler blue eyes, almost grey. Cute. Harmless. _See what happens. Not really_

„Where do you want to go?“ he hears himself ask „How about we check out that new café that opened down the street after our psychology lecture tomorrow?“ Huh, so she was in his class? Now that she mentioned it, she had seemed kind of familiar.

„Sounds good. I have to go talk to the prof about something after class, so let's meet there at 5. Is that ok with you?“ „Sounds good! I can't wait.“ She was positively beaming. For a second Makoto entertained the thought that maybe they had a bet going on who would get him to go an a date with them.

 

It was a desaster.

They had met at the café, and had started out their date with chatter about their psychology professor's ridiculous ideas about the amount of required reading for every lecture.  
She was funny, Makoto was charming, but when their (admittedly delicious) coffees arrived they had already run out of things to talk about. Makoto being Makoto, was trying desperately to break the silence, but was coming up short on conversation topics.

_Why was this so hard?_ Why did he feel the need to speak so much? He thought that when he was with Haru, this would not be awkward at all. They could sit in silence for hours, having conversations without words. It didn't help that she, „Yui“, he reminded himself, was attempting to maintain eye contact all the time. He was in psych class too, he knew that this was supposed to show interest in a person, but in reality it only made him squirm. Her pale blue eyes looked like ice, lacking all the warmth that Haru's had.

They waded their way through a conversation that was about as fluent as molasses, while they sipped their coffees. Afterward, it seemed as if Yui hadn't felt nearly as out of place as Makoto had, because she asked him if he wanted to walk her home.

_I am being too nice. Just tell her thanks and go home. Go home and forget this embarrassing evening ever happened. But she lives on campus and it's really just a short walk, and I should not let her walk home alone anyways._  
Even though it was only 6.30 and barely dark.

„Yeah, sure.“ He gave a smile that Haru would have identified as fake in half a second flat, but she didn't pick up on it.

They walked side by side, and Yui hooked her arm through his as they rounded in on the dorm building. _Oh. Maybe not that harmless after all..._ He willed the alarm bells in his head to be quiet as they neared her apartment door.

„Um, so... thanks for the date. It was nice“ Who thought he had it in him to lie through his teeth, huh? Nagisa must have rubbed off on him after all.

So what now?

Tell her he doesn't want to meet up with her again? Hug her and pat her back? Kiss on the cheek? Maybe now he could ask Haru if he had faced the same dilemmas on those 'not really' dates of his...

_See what happens._

In the end, supposedly cute and harmless Yui does the thinking for him, pulling him out of his thoughts with a spin on her heels and a yank on his shirt collar, pushing him against her apartment door.

_Nope, really not harmless_ is his last thought before she's on him like a hawk, holding him by his collar with one hand and tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck with the other, while apparently trying to eat his face off.

_This is not how first kisses are supposed to go._

Her lips are much too wet on his dry ones and the angle is off and she's too forceful and when she licks at his bottom lip he's positively _repulsed_ by the action.

_See what happens see what happens seewhathappens_  
is like a mantra in his brain as he tries to somehow go along and enjoy something, anything, about this, at all.

_not really_

The hand that had previously been fisted in his shirt travels south at an alarming speed and Makoto is sure he's going to combust any second from the effort it takes to not just run away squeaking.

_She's so aggressive._ His heart is hammering wildly in his chest.

_Why is she being so aggressive._ His hands are shaking, suspended in midair, unable to shove her away but at a loss for what to do.

Haru _would never be this aggressive._

_**OH.** _

 

And there it is.

Shit, _of course_. As if someone had adjusted the focus on the lens of a camera, things suddenly shift and become very clear and – in hindsight – emabarrassingly, _disgustingly_ obvious.

Yui chooses that moment to shove her hand down his pants, and everything in him reacts with a giant neon-coloured _NO_ and he bites her lip on reflex and then she's yelping and pulling away from him holding her bleeding lip, eyes wide as saucers, and against his caring, helpful nature, Makoto just turns and _runs._


	2. Confessing is harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haru is a little shit and I love him.

Makoto didn't even know where he was going at the moment, or if he was running towards or away from something, but he just had to get away from there.  
How could he have been so completely oblivious to his own feelings. It was so obvious, but maybe he had been in denial, or afraid to acknowledge in his brain what his heart had been telling him for such a long time?  
 _Of course_ it had always been about Haru. He didn't need to date anyone because he had Haru. He didn't want to date anyone because he had _Haru._

You'd think someone who studied at a renowned university inTokyo would have enough brain capacity to process this without having to go through thoroughly awkward makeout sessions beforehand, but apparently not.

Before he knew what was happening, he found himself sitting in the subway. _What the hell am I doing going directly to Haru's? I must have gone insane._

But really, Makoto had cancelled their dinner today because of his date, and maybe Haru had other plans too? Oh god, what if he was with someone right now?

_Not really._

He considered texting Nagisa and asking for his advice (apparently him and Rei had taken that whole 'cat's out the window, so the mice dance on the table' thing to the next level by immediately becoming an item at the start of the new school year), but then, Nagisa's advice would most likely consist of a lot of things that would make Makoto blush to death, and even more emoticons.

It couldn't be helped now, so he got off the sub at the right stop and went to Haru's place, hoping that he wasn't home and at the same time hoping that he was.

What was he going to say though? _Hey Haru, you know the chick I had a date with? Yea well we were making out and right as she put her hand on my dick I realized that I'm extremely gay for you. Are we cool?_

Yeah, not likely. But he couldn't just ignore his brand new revelation and forget about it, so his first reflex had been to go to the person who had always been there for him for as long as he could think.

Only in this case, Haru was the problem and the solution at the same time.

_I just need to calm down and think about this a little, what am I even doing? Maybe I'm just crazy. Maybe I just need to have a chat with Haru, and then I'll go home and laugh myself to sleep because of how stupid I am._

That plan flew right out the proverbial window when Haru opened his door, staring at him with those radiant blue eyes of his, looking like a disgruntled and disoriented kitten that had just been woken from a nap. He looked one hundred percent gorgeous.

_Shit._

He wants to kiss him so bad. Or just hug him and don't let go, ever. Or throw him over his shoulder and head straight for the bedroom. Or preferably all of the above.

I am so fucked. _And not in the good way_ , a very much uncalled for part of his brain adds. He was going to fucking _die._

But he was here now, so running away screaming was not a valid option anymore.

„Hi“ was all he could manage with his heart trying to jump up his throat with every beat.

„Come in.“

Makoto walks past Haru, taking off his shoes and jacket, placing them neatly where they belong, all while trying to calm down his racing heart and shaking hands. This is easy. Sit down on the couch with Haru, fruitlessly refuse dinner, talk for a bit. He had done the same thing dozens of times by now. Get this over with, calm down, go home, take a very long and cold shower, and never look Haru in the eye ever again.

„I thought you had a date.“ Haru spits the word date as if it had been dipped in arsenic. Could it be? Was he upset? It was probably his hormone-crazed brain making him imagine things.

„I had, but...“ _she wanted to jump my bones and I ran straight here because I realized I'd like you to jump them instead._ No, that wouldn't come across well, now would it?

„It didn't... go well.“ _Understatement of the century. She was_ bleeding

„Oh? Why is that?“ Haru had the gall to sound cheerful. Cheerful and Haruka Nanase don't go together.

„Ah...well, we didn't...she wasn't...“ _She's not you, Haru. Say it. Say it you damn coward._

„She didn't seem to be all that interested after all.“ Only interested in certain parts of his anatomy more like. He gave his trademark smile, completely with head tilt and everything, hoping that he was a better actor than he thought. He had never been able to lie to Haru.

„Hm...weird. So what did you do?“ he inquires with more curiosity than was necessary.

 _Please stop pushing the subject I want to forget this ever happened, preferably yesterday._ Makoto was reluctant to lie to his best friend, or could he even call Haru his best friend anymore, in light of recent revelations? Best friends don't think about each other while swapping spit with their dates.

He sighed and braced himself for what was probably going to be one of the most awkward conversations of his life. With the cause of said awkwardness sitting right in front of him. _Just perfect._

„We had coffee, but we didn't find much to talk about. Afterwards I walked her home to her dorm.“ Makoto prayed to all the gods he knew that Haru would be satisfied with that, but he seemed intent on making him crumble into a pile of embarrassment, right there on his living room floor.

„And?“ _Dammit._

„Um...“ he could feel the heat radiating off his face, which was probably nearing the colour of Rin's hair by now. _Might as well get this over with or we will never get anywhere._ Where exactly 'anywhere' was, Makoto wasn't sure. Probably somewhere far far away from Haru and his stupid eyes and his dumb hair and his stupid dumb perfection.  
„Ah...well... we kinda made out a little, okay? It was bad, and I'd rather not talk about it.“ That had the opposite effect of what Makoto had hoped, because now Haru seemed _really_ interested.

„Why?“  
„What why?“  
„Why was it bad?“ he inquired, inching closer and fixing Makoto's gaze on his with the iron grip of his blue orbs. _Dear god Haru, don't look at me like that._ He was trying to kill him. Yep, definitely. What was he supposed to answer to that?

 _I didn't enjoy talking to her because I actually had to talk. I didn't enjoy looking at her because her eyes were all wrong. I didn't enjoy hugging her because she didn't smell of chlorine. I didn't enjoy kissing her because I only want to kiss_ you.

„Tell me.“ _Shit._ He felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Knowing that he probably should get the hell out of there, but unable to move a muscle.

„I... Haru, please...“ Haru inched closer to him, and if he didn't stop looking at him with all the focus of a very expensive camera lens, his eyes were probably going to melt right out of his face.

„I... _goddammit._ “ He gripped Haru's head with one hand, probably more forceful than necessary, and crashed their lips together. Haru gave a surprised squeak, but melted against him in an instant, hands snaking up to cup his face.

Huh, this was...wow this was... actually happening.

 

Now this, _this_ was what he imagined a first kiss should be like. Haru's hands were warm, gently running through his hair, and his lips were so soft and sure against his own, that Makoto concluded that the universe had made them especially for him to kiss. Rei would have been proud of his impeccable deduction skills. When he felt a wet tongue trace against his lips this time, there was nothing even a little repulsive about it, and he eagerly opened his mouth to respond in kind. Although neither of them really knew what they were doing, everything felt completely wonderful and heavenly and _right._

They kissed until their lips were puffy and red, learning how to tilt their heads, how to breathe through their noses despite their excitement, memorizing what the other tasted like and all the little sounds they could coax from the other.

 

„Ne, Haru?“  
„ Hm?“  
„When you said you were _'not really' _going on dates, what did you mean by that?“ He braced himself for all sorts of disappointing answers. The hand that had absentmindedly been stroking his arm stopped.__

__„Why? Were you jealous?“_ _

__„...yes...“_ _

__„Good.“_ _

__„Haru!“ Makoto poked him in the ribs with his index finger. Haru honest to god _chuckles._ __

__„Well...what would you call all the times we had dinner together after class?“_ _

__For a moment, his face blanks, and then Makoto can't help but laugh. Of course. That was such a Haru thing to say. Hitting what this was always going to be right on the head, while being so obliviously blunt about it that it was nothing short of comedic.  
He was wheezing, trying to hold back tears of laughter, because the relief he felt could not have been any greater. _ _

__So, while Makoto had been completely blind to his feelings, Haru had casually taken him by the hand and gently pushed him along the way, while patiently waiting for Makoto to _get a fucking clue._ Then a thought crossed his mind._ _

„Wait."  
"Did you make me go on a date _on purpose_ so I would realize how I felt about us? This?!“ He gestured to the both of them, snuggled up on Haru's couch, with their legs entangled and Haru's head resting in the perfect space under Makoto's chin. 

Haru slowly pulls himself up and puts his hands around Makoto's neck, inching closer and closer while letting a tiny devious grin spread on his face. 

_„Not really...“_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. I feel like I just gave birth.
> 
> Watch an aro struggle to write anything romantic...  
> In hindsight, I should probably have written from Haru's pov since I understand him much better, oh well. I love these dumb dorks and just had to write something. Also Reigisa cameo because yes. I had a lot of fun doing this, so let's hope I dream about the swimming nerds again soon!

**Author's Note:**

> So how long did it take you to realize that English isn't my first language?  
> Come yell at me on tumblr at levi-two-hands!


End file.
